Why is it that every time we see an overweight person, we assume they’re looking for advice on losing weight?
I’m overweight and quite aware of the fact. I also know the reason for it and what I should be doing about it. In my case for example, I tended to snack heavily, had a mindset issue which caused me to hoard food and finally I ate like a maniac whenever stressed. The solution therefore is to recognise the root of the problem and gradually work towards resolving it. Likewise, most overweight people are quite aware of the reason for their condition.
Now, one would assume the normal thinking person knows this and would behave normally. It doesn’t happen like that most of the time unfortunately. Most people who aren’t overweight seem to feel instantly superior when meeting a chap who’s overweight. For example, I know this chap who insists on making a few smart comments every time we meet. The last time this happened, I politely asked him if I should comment on his being a midget, his inability to write or speak one line of grammatically correct English, his tendency towards 6 inch elevator shoes or his puking for two days after consuming 30ml of alcohol. We didn’t meet after that for obvious reasons.
I’m wondering what makes people oblivious to their own shortcomings when selecting targets for their peculiar brand of humour. Have you noticed that the same chaps feel totally insulted if you get equally personal? I mean, this chap I know flew totally off the handle when I pointed out the number of links in his browser ‘Favourites’ that pointed to websites for penile enhancement.
Now, for a moment, let’s assume some people are fat because they’re just too lazy to do anything about it, or perhaps it doesn’t bother them. Then why, I wonder, do people feel the need to get all judgemental on him or her? I regularly get advice on how to lose weight by this chap who has severe communication issues, types like a retard and hasn’t heard of punctuation.
Being fat isn’t necessarily due to over-eating. The root cause could be a medical condition, personal problems or any one of a hundred reasons, all of which aren’t really anyone else’s business. Perhaps some people just gain weight randomly. Is discrimination or mockery the answer?
As is evident from my very personal remarks above, all of us can easily get quite judgemental about others and all of us definitely have things we’re sensitive about – things that can easily be made into a big public joke. Think of how your car is maintained, your clothes, the size of your nose, teeth, bitten fingernails, smoking, pitted skin and remember if you’re not being made fun of, it’s because people are being nice to you, not because there’s nothing about you that can be mocked.
So… if you’re the type who tends to rib people about their weight, even in jest, remember it’s just one comment to you and the 27th one of the day for the person in question. Conversely, if you happen to be the target of such comments, just let fly.
- Sid
They do the same thing to thin people too, always offering advice on what one should be eating to gain weight.
Basically we all love to give advise, fromfood to fertility, cricket to world peace. It is one of the favourite time passing activity. Go to a pan shop or a tea thela or a bar, & you will get proof for this.
yep,,niyas right! we will always be getting unsolicited ideas for free and also will be giving away so many things to people unasked..there is no stone hit reason for being fat…every person’s body varies with his life style, daily activities, harmones, and hereditary things. so its not always advisable to give away point like this
Sid, this needs to be on FB. To be shared by all. Beautifully written.
The funny thing is that most of these “so called thin people” who are advising have no clue about fitness themselves. I am myself quite overweight, though losing steadily. Obviously I have read more on this topic that any of these advisors. So when they cross the limit of one or two casual comments, I go for them telling them how unfit they actually are & what routine should they follow to be actually fit. You should see the U-turn they take & their shock at me commenting on their “Personal Matters”. Atleast it keeps these people quiet for future.
Hi Sid,
I completely agree with your point of view. Some time ago, a friend of mine was going through a deep emotional crisis because she was slightly overweight. She was made the victim of several barbed comments and tasteless humour. At that time, I told her to let it be and not pay heed to such foolish people. But now that I find myself in her shoes I have come to realise how disturbing such behaviour can be. I love cooking and trying out new cuisines…I am a big foodie…I know I should exercise but am a tad bit lazy to do so. But that’s completely my problem and no one else’s. I wonder who gave others the right to be holier than thou and pass judgements like that on people. And the minute you turn on the heat on them, the crap about “it’s personal” comes up.
You have hit the nail on the head Sid.
Like you said that most people are aware that they are overweight…even people who passes remarks know that this will only piss off the person. But fact of the matter is they still chose to make comments and offend their friends, colleagues etc.
May be this article should be further circulated to sensitise people to watch their words…and make them realise fat is beatiful
In UK and USA there exist overeaters anonymous. It is based on alcoholics anonymous principles- basically, first recognise the problem, find out the root cause and underlying reasons for overeating and then tackle these collectively. Unfortunately, it is bit inclined towards religion – in other words seeking Gods help to stop one overeating. See – http://www.oagb.org.uk/
I once went to see a dietician at the hospital – All those who had appointment with her were sitting in the corridor. I could not but help observe that amongst all – I was the thinnest! Most were quite big men and women. Anyway, when she opened her door – She was like a stick insect – so thin! She ushered in all into her consulting room. Made every one sit in a circle, placed a weighing scale in the middle of the room – weighed each one individually – shouted out the weight and thoroughly ashamed them. By the time, it came to my turn all were nervous wreck – She then ushered us outside to wait for private consultation. A big woman sat next to me said – She was so stressed by the experience – She is going to get a chocolate and cream cake. Many followed her!
She laid into me – How many chapattis do you eat per meal? I said depends on the dish! If its Keema Mutter – four chapattis – This English woman went absolutely livid – Not more then one I say! I never went back to her and reported her to the hospital. It was the worst way to tackle her patients! I dont know what success rate she had but she drove all that day to seek comfort food. I polished off a bottle of wine!
gosh that is so true … and equally bugging !
people think they are some sorts of studs to go on and mock at you , and see the smile vanishing from their faces when the tables are turned !!!
good post sid, i hope it puts senses and decency in a lot many people, who are in dire need of it.
Tell me about it! I am just 4lbs over weight (medically) but far from being Skinny as most women these days want to be. And I constantly get advice on my eating habits. Fact: I eat healthier than most of them and I am fitter than all of them. (I can run 5-8 miles @ 12 mins per mile, and then do some Yoga, run chores etc,.)
But I realised one thing… if I call myself fat, people think they can give me advice. I just changed my attitude and started calling myself slim.. and Voila! they changed their perspective too. I guess everybody likes to give gyan… and feel superior to the other. Trick is not to give them that right:)